Don't Look Back In Anger

Ever since I started my internship, I have been going to work with my brother. He will drive to the LRT station and we will take the LRT. Every morning, we go through the same thing. Jam. Bad drivers. The normal stuff you see in Malaysia. My brother drives every time because he cannot imagine me handling his precious car although I have driven his car many times.

Now, you would think that having to drive the same route for a couple of years, he would be used to the weirdo/crazy/reckless drivers on the road. But clearly, he isn't. Every single morning on a working day, if something happens, like a car just zipping into our lane, out comes a barrage of curses on how lousy and inconsiderate that driver is. Please understand that my brother isn't the most careful of drivers and he can be a hypocrite sometimes. So I don't really understand why he gets so worked up when he does the same thing too. That isn't my point though. I don't get why he would get so angry over such things. He can't change things. It's not like he can just flag down that driver and give a lesson on "Driving 101" (not that he's the perfect person to be giving that talk).

Getting angry is not something I'm used to being nowadays. I have no idea how or when this change happened to me but it's now hard to get me angry about things. It's like one day I woke up and decided, "Hey, it ain't worth shit getting angry over everything." Believe it or not, I was once very short tempered. I blew up at the smallest things. But I'm different now. I actually find it hard to get angry and even when I do, it lasts like 2 minutes and then I'm perfectly okay.

It seems like my level of tolerance has went up like a million percent. In any case, I feel better. There's no more of that bitterness that comes out of being angry. I can live my life with less unnecessary stress. Where I got this optimistic outlook, I have no idea but if it makes life easier for me, why not? Cheers.

My favourite Oasis song of all time.

High Like Shit In The Sky

I am bored and have nothing to do now. That's why I'm writing this post. Because I'm bored.

I don't like working but it seems like it's taking up a lot of my time which would usually be used to aimlessly surf the Internet or just keep refreshing the Facebook homepage (like now). It is also keeping me from watching The Walking Dead too fast. Otherwise, I'll be left with nothing to watch again. I guess that's good.

Oh. Right. My A Levels results came out on Tuesday. Had to ask my friend to check it for me because I did not have internet connection at the office. I have to say, I got what I wanted. My Econs didn't end up as a B. Which is good considering how much I thought was crap ended up on my exam script. Guess it wasn't all crap after all. Maths and Accounts were basically in the bag from the start. Further Maths was a genuine surprise. I didn't think that I'd score as good as I did. I was honestly happy with it. Then I had to spoil it by finding out that 28% of the candidates got an A* for it. But still, it's good enough for me.

Now that my place at the University of Warwick is confirmed, I'm so psyched to go. I wish I could skip straight to September and fly off to the UK. But they say, be careful what you wish for. When I get there, I could probably get homesick. As it is, whenever I go off for a trip overseas to countries in Europe, I tend to start missing Malaysia after a couple of days. Mainly because of the food(lol). So I have no idea how long I'll last in Warwick till I start to be homesick.

I'm hating and loving tomorrow at the same time. Hate because it's the start of another 5 day work week. Love because I get to see Linkin Park live for the first time in my life. By the way, this is the first concert I actually bought tickets to see in my whole life. And my first rock one. I cannot wait. After how much I enjoyed World Stage back in 2010, I hope that tomorrow's concert will be just as good, if not better. Maybe someday I'll be the one on the stage. Haha. But until then, I'll content myself with watching other people do it.

So much to look forward to. A new chapter's going to begin in a month's time. I cannot wait but I will wait patiently and try my best to treasure my moments here at home. So excited. Haha.

Psyched,

YiJiun

On The Road Called Life

The 1st of August marked a new beginning. I started my internship. I was actually quite excited to start. Then the first day was a bit of a letdown because I had practically nothing to do. The following days were slightly better because at least I had stuff to finish. I had a sense of purpose. At least while I was doing the work. When I finish up and think back, I wonder, "Why am I doing this?"

I could be doing nothing at home. No pressure. No deadlines. No responsibility. Now I sound like a spoilt kid. Haha. I had wanted to make use of my so-called "abundance" of free time. Now I regret it. But this is good experience. At least now I know that I'm not really cut out for this type of work. Yeah, I get stuff done on time, usually before it's needed (my supervisor is complaining that I do things too fast and she's running of assignments for me) but I don't get any satisfaction out of it. I'm working like a robot. Doing whatever I'm told to do. Maybe things will get better when I get into managing my big project. I don't know. Let's just see.

Going for this internship ain't cheap though. Everyday I have to either take the LRT or the KTM and it costs about RM3 per trip. Add my lunch and it comes up to about 12 bucks per day. But I have the luxury of working in a month with quite a few public holidays. Like the 4 day Raya break. So it's not that bad. It feels like I'm still underpaid though. My job description actually calls for a university graduate but here I am, a fresh-faced A-Levels student doing it. In any case, I never did this for the money. I don't think about money when I'm working. Benefits of birth?

Sometimes it feels like I'm taking advantage of my parents. I use so much of their money to live my life. The next 3 years will the real kicker. And I'm not even sure I'm going to use that piece of paper I'll get at the end. The small taste of working in a box has me doubting whether I really want to live my life out in a cubicle for the rest of my life.

I won't resign. Not when I haven't even gotten to the main part of the job. I'm not a quitter by nature. I may complain. I may whine. But I don't quit just because the going gets tough. Guess I'm saying all this just to toughen myself up. It's not going to be an easy month. But, hell, I asked for this. I'll do whatever it takes. All in the name of living. God gave me this life, I ain't going down.

Signing off,
YiJiun

Need someone like the Leona in this song right now.