Weeks 37 to 43: The Bittersweet End

It has taken quite a while to finally writing this post. Partly because of procrastination and laziness (let's be honest, mostly because of procrastination) and also because this will be the final entry in which I'm still sort of a student. It's been a crazy few weeks. I flew off to Naples, Italy for a week and really enjoyed the sun. I even spent my first birthday on a boat (which broke down). Then, I spent time with my family who came over to attend my graduation and finally, I graduated.

I officially hold a Bachelor's degree in Accounting and Finance. 5 years ago, I wasn't even sure which course to study. Now, I'm still not sure whether it was the right choice but the memories I have made while in university are ones that I cherish. University has been an interesting sweet spot in my life where I'm sort of an adult but not really. It's no wonder that many people call university the best years of their life.

However, I am determined not to let university be the best years of my life. Don't get me wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. I've made amazing friends, met brilliant lecturers, studied interesting things, fell in love, fell out of love, cried and laughed. These three years have helped me open up and really understand who I am as a person. I have no doubt that I will change and evolve over the next few years but my university years have given me an understanding of my own self that I've never had before. That in itself is probably the most valuable lesson that I will be taking away from studying in this crazy mess of a university. 

The next chapter of my life still remains unclear. I still have no idea where I will end up nor do I have any idea what I will be working as. Fingers crossed that I will know within the next few weeks. This is probably the biggest thing that I have been struggling with in the weeks after I finished my exams. It's scary not knowing where I will end up in a month. The uncertainty is killing me but I just need to soldier on. It's time that I took control of my own life. For the longest time, I have played by the rules and ended up in places where I was expected to end up. For the first time, I'm deciding where I want to end up even if the choice is ultimately in the hands of who wants to employ me. It's hard but I've put in too much to give up now.

This past year hasn't been the easiest. In fact, of the 3 years I've spent in university, it's been the most difficult. Time and time again, I've been told that I wasn't good enough. But I still pick myself up and move on. And that's just life isn't it? Effort doesn't always pay off but it's the only thing you can put in. Keep moving on and one day, hopefully, it will pay off.

Goodbyes are hard. But moving on is even harder. It's been an amazing 3 years but it's time to move on. It's time to grow up. It's time to be my own person. Goodbye.

Love,

Jiun