Short One From UK

About a week has passed. My first week in Warwick was actually quite nice. Met a lot of people from all over the world (especially Malaysians). It's been a bit crazy. But I'll update again later. I'm tired. Bye.

One Day More

I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm excited. My flight tomorrow night will mark the start of a new chapter and a new story in my life. The past week was like the prologue to it.

I will be moving to live in a new environment halfway across the world for approximately 9 months. That is if I don't stay back during the summer to work or something.

I have been packing my stuff and I didn't realise there were so much stuff that I want to have with me. Of course, there is no way I will be able to bring everything I want with me. So a few things have to be left behind. The hardest thing to leave at home is actually my guitar. I'm not going to lie, I suck at playing the guitar. If I brought it with me, people will probably complain about my guitar playing. But that guitar has helped me write quite a few songs that I am pretty proud of. It has been a better guitar to me than I have been it's owner. Sigh.

I hope that the next 3 years will be good to me. I hope that Warwick will be good home for me. I hope that the people I will meet there will be good to me. I hope that my flight will take off and land safely. And most of all, I hope that I will be good to me and everybody else.

Cherishing the moment,

YiJiun

Why I Write

I like writing. There are 3 things in my life that I love to do most: play music, write music and write stuff (like this post). 2 of those are writing.

Back in secondary school, I loved writing Chinese essays, no matter for homework or for an exam. I loved it because there was always a question that gave me the freedom to use my creativity and not be restrained by a rigid topic like "How to encourage recycling?" like in the BM ones. English essays also had some flexibility in that aspect but a lot of times, I wasn't inspired to write anything awesome.

I remember writing an essay about my grandfather who passed away, writing unusual ways of interpreting an idiom, stuff like that. Coming up with the unexpected and getting rewarded for it was fun. But I never did it to be rewarded, I just liked writing.

I write because it gives me the chance to put my feelings out in the open like this blog post or in my songs. I can write about anything I want to and not be afraid of people zoning out on me like when I'm talking to them. And also, I write better than I talk. So, go figure. Haha.

I write when I feel inspired. I write when I feel down. I write when I feel happy. I write when I feel like I want to. Writing is my hobby and one of my first loves in life. Even before music. It feels good to write. No need to think of a common topic to talk about with someone. Just me. Writing to myself.

I don't know who actually reads this blog. But who cares? I don't. This blog chronicles my life. From that person I was to who I am today. It's all in here. No matter how embarrassing it is, it's out here for the world to see. It's their choice whether or not they want to read it. I like writing.

Signing off with a flourish,
YiJIUN

mixed feelings.

My penultimate working week of my internship has passed with mixed feelings. I hated the first 2 days, didn't mind the next 2 and would have preferred to have done without the last. The first 2 days I hated because I had to do my most dreaded thing, contacting another 70 branches. The next 2 were filled with spontaneous meetings and also some people finally took over my job of contacting the branches. Today was just.....nothing. I basically had nothing to do today but I had fun chatting with the Malay ladies sitting around me.

The weekend will be full of me packing and buying stuff for when I go to the UK. It will also be full of me trying to do everything I want to do before I go to the UK. I'm sure I will miss home when I get there. Sigh.

Next week will be the last week of my internship and also a week of farewells. The trio of farewells will start on Monday when my colleagues will do a small farewell lunch for me and also a welcome lunch for a new colleague. Then skip to Friday and it will be the farewell with all my friends from Seafield. The final one will be with my college classmates.

Mixed feelings this week. Mixed feelings for next week. I don't know how to feel already. I'm excited but scared. Anticipating but fearing. Wanting but not wanting at the same time. It doesn't make sense.

Signing off,
YiJiun

Calling

I have been more unhappy than usual on Thursday and Friday at work. Just because I had to call up a number of people to remind them about something. And it continues on Monday because I couldn't reach quite a few of them.

I have no idea when my fear of calling strangers started but yes, I have an irrational fear of doing so. Wait, now that I think of it, it isn't fear but really a dislike towards calling strangers on the phone. It is totally irrational. Even after I called about 20 people, I still didn't like doing it, nor was I used to it. I kept trying to put it off even though I had no choice but to do it. I'm weird. Or maybe I'm just antisocial.

On Tuesday, my department had a potluck buffet lunch at the pantry. There was a new guy who came in just a few days before and we only met once before. He sat down next to me and (tried to) talked to me. Now, I'm not the most talkative person on normal days. On that day, I was worse. I gave really short answers, didn't even try to keep the conversation going. I basically gave him the cold shoulder. Although, I did try to smile as much as I could. But honestly, I don't think he's going to try to talk to me again.

Sometimes, I wish could be more outgoing and talkative. That would make meeting people and making friends less hard. I'm just a total failure at socializing. Seriously.