Calling

I have been more unhappy than usual on Thursday and Friday at work. Just because I had to call up a number of people to remind them about something. And it continues on Monday because I couldn't reach quite a few of them.

I have no idea when my fear of calling strangers started but yes, I have an irrational fear of doing so. Wait, now that I think of it, it isn't fear but really a dislike towards calling strangers on the phone. It is totally irrational. Even after I called about 20 people, I still didn't like doing it, nor was I used to it. I kept trying to put it off even though I had no choice but to do it. I'm weird. Or maybe I'm just antisocial.

On Tuesday, my department had a potluck buffet lunch at the pantry. There was a new guy who came in just a few days before and we only met once before. He sat down next to me and (tried to) talked to me. Now, I'm not the most talkative person on normal days. On that day, I was worse. I gave really short answers, didn't even try to keep the conversation going. I basically gave him the cold shoulder. Although, I did try to smile as much as I could. But honestly, I don't think he's going to try to talk to me again.

Sometimes, I wish could be more outgoing and talkative. That would make meeting people and making friends less hard. I'm just a total failure at socializing. Seriously.