Writing Therapy

So more than a month ago, I received a call telling me that I failed to pass the assessment centre for a job application that I really hoped would turn out well. I knew that I probably failed it but that call really made it a reality and that was when everything sort of came crashing down around me.

Close friends and those of you that actually follow this blog (meaning no one) would know that for the entirety of my final year at university, I was working towards two things: getting a job in the UK and scoring a first for my degree. I didn't get a first for my degree which I was sort of okay with if I got a job in the UK. In the end, both didn't work out the way I wanted them to. That call basically marked the beginning of the end of my time in the UK. I didn't have any other viable options and the only choice left was to book my flight back home to Malaysia.

It was a reality that I had a very hard time trying to come to terms with and till today, I still haven't gotten over it. I really don't think any other single event in my life has affected so strongly in an emotional sense. I think it was because it meant that a lot of the blood, sweat and tears that I've shed in the past year have basically come to naught. I haven't felt so much like a failure in my life.

And it wasn't just trying to live up to my own expectations of myself but also other people's expectations. I know that I really shouldn't be so affected by what other people think of me but when someone innocently asks me where I'll be staying in the UK and I have to explain to them that I did not get a job, I can't help but feel like I've failed on a bigger scale than I actually have.

The thing is that getting a job in the UK meant a lot more than the 'status and money' that quite a few people in my life assumed it was. I wanted to give myself a better life. I wanted to live in a place where I didn't have to hide so much of what I love to do. Having to come home meant that I had to put on a show everyday just so that people I love don't worry unnecessarily about me. It meant that I had to act like someone I wasn't.

Having to come home also meant that my relationship with many close friends would be coming to a physical end, it also meant ending a relationship with a person who meant a lot to me. The aftermath of that call was devastating in many ways and I genuinely wasn't emotionally prepared to handle all of that. It was a very hard time in my life and in many ways, it still is.

The idea that I'm a failure still haunts me very much to this very moment. In the one month that I've been home, I've experienced moments where everything just hits me and I just withdraw into this zombified version of me even when I'm with people. Dealing with the loss of a dream, of the ideal me, was, and still is, a very trying time. 

But I really just want people to know (if anyone happens to read this), that I'm trying my best to get over this. I am doing my best to move on. My time in that beautiful mess of a country is past and I know that. Maybe I will go back. I certainly hope so. But I need to focus on the immediate future and what I'm going to do to achieve my long term goals in life. So, here I am, finally with a job. I still cry, I still hate myself but I'm getting better. I think I'm stronger than I was when I cried on the 13-hour flight back home and I think I'm learning to love myself again.

Life is hard but I'm not done with it yet. I still have places to go, people to meet and dreams to achieve. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't meant to be just yet.

Love,

Jiun

Weeks 37 to 43: The Bittersweet End

It has taken quite a while to finally writing this post. Partly because of procrastination and laziness (let's be honest, mostly because of procrastination) and also because this will be the final entry in which I'm still sort of a student. It's been a crazy few weeks. I flew off to Naples, Italy for a week and really enjoyed the sun. I even spent my first birthday on a boat (which broke down). Then, I spent time with my family who came over to attend my graduation and finally, I graduated.

I officially hold a Bachelor's degree in Accounting and Finance. 5 years ago, I wasn't even sure which course to study. Now, I'm still not sure whether it was the right choice but the memories I have made while in university are ones that I cherish. University has been an interesting sweet spot in my life where I'm sort of an adult but not really. It's no wonder that many people call university the best years of their life.

However, I am determined not to let university be the best years of my life. Don't get me wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. I've made amazing friends, met brilliant lecturers, studied interesting things, fell in love, fell out of love, cried and laughed. These three years have helped me open up and really understand who I am as a person. I have no doubt that I will change and evolve over the next few years but my university years have given me an understanding of my own self that I've never had before. That in itself is probably the most valuable lesson that I will be taking away from studying in this crazy mess of a university. 

The next chapter of my life still remains unclear. I still have no idea where I will end up nor do I have any idea what I will be working as. Fingers crossed that I will know within the next few weeks. This is probably the biggest thing that I have been struggling with in the weeks after I finished my exams. It's scary not knowing where I will end up in a month. The uncertainty is killing me but I just need to soldier on. It's time that I took control of my own life. For the longest time, I have played by the rules and ended up in places where I was expected to end up. For the first time, I'm deciding where I want to end up even if the choice is ultimately in the hands of who wants to employ me. It's hard but I've put in too much to give up now.

This past year hasn't been the easiest. In fact, of the 3 years I've spent in university, it's been the most difficult. Time and time again, I've been told that I wasn't good enough. But I still pick myself up and move on. And that's just life isn't it? Effort doesn't always pay off but it's the only thing you can put in. Keep moving on and one day, hopefully, it will pay off.

Goodbyes are hard. But moving on is even harder. It's been an amazing 3 years but it's time to move on. It's time to grow up. It's time to be my own person. Goodbye.

Love,

Jiun

Weeks 31 to 36: All Done

So exams are over and I am officially done with my degree. It's been a stressful few weeks preparing and sitting for exams. A few ups and downs but I've pulled through and now I am just waiting for my results to be released.

Just came back from Glasgow where I visited a high school friend. It was nice to catch up and just chill around. The trip was basically me rediscovering my love for museums. I always forget how much I like just hanging around in museums looking at interesting stuff. Also, loads of fossils. I used to love reading about dinosaurs and fossils and stuff and I still love to. So, that was a treat. Tried black pudding and actually quite liked it. Haggis, not so much. Tasted like an unwrapped sausage if I'm being honest.

There are still busy days ahead of me. I'll be performing one last time with Glee which is really sad but I'm also looking forward to it. Can't believe that I've been part of this big family for 3 years and now I'm leaving them behind. Sad times.

Will be jetting off to Italy in a couple of weeks to celebrate with my coursemates, so that should be fun. What else? Right, my YouTube channel is now up and running. I'll post a video down below.

This is just a quick update on my life so far. Fingers crossed, I'll land a job in the near future but besides that, I'm just going to enjoy my freedom for now.

Love,
Jiun xx

Weeks 25 to 30: When Bad News Hits

So basically this year's series of blogs consist of me constantly complaining about my life. Let's be honest though, getting a job isn't easy. It doesn't help when everyone around me is moving forward in their lives. Quite a few of my friends already have job offers and just need to focus on their exams now. Me, on the other hand, have spent the past five weeks writing four essays and going for various job interviews. I've only just started revising for my exams in a few weeks and I still have job applications to worry about.

I just failed another interview recently. You would think that having been rejected by employers so many times, I would be used to it by now. But, truth be told, it doesn't get any easier handling rejection. In fact,the early rejections didn't hit as hard as the more recent ones. I think it was because I knew that I had time then and still had options. Now, I'm running out of both time and options. It doesn't help that even when I learn from my previous failures, I am still not good enough for people to offer me a job.

I genuinely feel that I haven't achieved anything in my entire final year at university. Last year, I was in a band, running a society and even managed to pull up my average. This year, I've stepped down from all positions of responsibilities, have unsatisfactory results and no job secured for after graduation. Time and time again, I am reminded that effort does not equal to results and it's getting harder and harder to see the point of putting myself through all of this. I could take the easy way out but I know that 

For my whole life, I've been doing things that are expected of me. My SPM subjects, my A Level subjects, my degree and now my future career. Much of my life has been tied to my parents' expectations of me and I don't know why I'm finding it so hard to distance myself from their ambitions and work towards my own. Doing what I love to do shouldn't need to be a secret from them but it is and that's not the way it should be. But then, what I think should be, never really become reality.

I guess a positive thing out of all the negativity is my own monthofjiun project which I've recently moved from Soundcloud to Youtube (check it out here). As much as I wish it is more popular than it currently is, I still proud that I've managed to keep it going as long as I have. At least making music makes me happy. At least when I'm doing that, I don't need to think about everything that's going wrong even if just for a moment.

Till next time.

Weeks 18 to 24: End of Term 2

Sorry for the late update. This post is only the latest on this stressful period that I'm going through at the moment in my life.

As you have probably surmised, term has ended and I officially will not have anymore teaching lectures. Parts of my university are slowly ending as time goes on. No more teaching left, just assessments. Any Glee stuff will be winding down now in Term 3 with exams. I didn't think that I would be so affected by my time in university but it has honestly been a pretty transformational experience. Probably even more so than high school. I've been through stuff that really helped me understand myself so much more than before and that's, in no small way, because of the people that I have met in university. It will be sad when I finally have to leave.

The past 7 weeks or so has been an emotional rollercoaster. My job search has not been going well. There were times when I thought that it was completely hopeless but I just kept suppressing my emotions. I kept moving on because I knew that I still had outstanding applications and there was still a faint possibility of me actually getting a job here in the UK. Then, one day, I got rejected from both my outstanding applications. In that moment, I genuinely felt like my world ended. For one of the applications in particular, it wasn't even because I did anything wrong but the company just ran out of spaces. I felt cheated and really demotivated. It didn't help that I was also burdened with a lot of work I had to do for uni. But thanks to kind words from close friends, I managed to pick myself up and continue with my quest for a job.

That weekend after I got the bad news, I followed the Glee Masters team down to London for the annual show choir competition. I was a bit sad that I couldn't join the team this year because of my work load but I decided to support them in any way I could. Spent a great day in London hanging out with the team and also got to meet up with alumni who came down to watch the competition as well. That was a good day.

The week after that was a bit of a nightmare trying to get two group projects finalised for the following week. For one of them, we had to do an analysis with Excel but my group mates were really struggling to work out how exactly to use Excel, so I ended up doing most of the work which really annoyed quite a bit. I know that it really isn't their fault to some extent but still...sigh. Anyway, those were done in good time and everything is fine now.

I will finally be going out tonight. Can't wait to have a good time tonight. A brief respite from all the work that I have to do. In the following weeks, I have 4 essays to write and a couple of interviews to attend.

I actually feel sad that I increasingly feel disenchanted with home now. Malaysia's a nice place and all but I cannot see myself staying there for the rest of my life. It is honestly depressing to say that because it's a place that I still call home. There are just so many issues with the political scene, human rights and the direction the country is heading in general. I actually don't see it getting any better in my lifetime and if I have a chance to lead a less repressed life here, why not?

Signing off.
YiJiun

P.S. Check out the last two covers I posted up! Both are pretty upbeat.

Week 14 to 17: Stressed Out

I did not intend to reference the Twenty One Pilots song in the title (it's really good though, go listen to it) but I guess it is sort of fitting. The past month has been a ridiculous string of events that have left me stressed out for prolonged periods of time. There has been moments when I have managed to escape it for a bit but that only lasted a few days.

First bout of stress came in the form of the two assignments that I had to submit at the start of the new term. I worked my butt off for both but I know for a fact that one of them is just a bit shit. Arguments were not coherent not consistent. If I get a good mark, I would be genuinely surprised and treat myself to a ridiculously meal. The other one was received a lot better than I thought it would be. Just before the deadline, I completely lost faith in what I thought was a good idea at first. I didn't have time to make up a new creative project, so I just went with it. Before the panel discussion for the piece, I showed the piece to a few of my friends and got some good feedback. That was the same for during the panel discussion which really surprised. Someone even suggested that I should get it published although I'm sure she was just being nice. Maybe I'll publish it on here once I get the marks back. (Sometime while I was working on my assignments, I got the marks back for another assignment and it was terrible by my standards, so that certainly didn't help with the stress.)

I got a few days of rest from the previous two weeks of stress after the panel discussion. I somehow managed to get a free ticket to go see The Shires and The Corrs to review the show. I don't I have mentioned here before, which is super weird since I've been really excited about it - I am actually writing for the music section of an entertainment website called Outloud!Culture. You can read my review of the show on there. I'll just drop the link here. It's actually my most popular article so far on the site and I''m super happy about it.

After a few days of trying not to stress out over anything (I even went on a night out for once!), I went back to getting work done. I didn't realise at first but I managed to give myself four group assignments this term. Not ideal. It's really worrying me but hopefully I'll manage without breaking down. It's not just doing uni work that is stressing me out though. I still do not have a job at the moment and I haven't been getting any news from the companies which have yet to reject my application. That really isn't helping. I just put in a couple more applications today but honestly bad news is better than radio silence because I'd be able to plan my days better.

Today hasn't been a terribly good day. Not much reason other than I woke up on the wrong side of bed probably. I have been really critical and sensitive today partly because I was waiting for news that never came. One thing in particular really annoyed me today. Normally, I would just dismiss it as trivial but today was the wrong day for this to come up really. What happened? Someone asked for my full name and email address without providing a reason. That was actually a few days ago but I didn't bother because no one gave a reason for me to. Then, there was a reminder today. So I asked what it was for. Guess what the answer was? "Just for admin purposes." Literally not an answer in my books. So I asked for what admin purposes and haven't gotten a response since.

I don't understand how "admin purposes" can be considered a legit reason to request my personal information. Granted, it is just my full name and email address which I do give out to websites on a regular basis but at least those website have dodgy privacy policies which I never read. I was quite pissed that the person thought that "admin purposes" was a reasonable response. I could have just replied with whatever was on my mind at that moment and it would be terribly unpleasant but I restrained myself and gave a less unpleasant response but I think it was still quite obvious I was annoyed.

Sorry for going off on a weird rant there. Probably doesn't even make sense. Honestly though, I attribute my general unpleasantness these few days to stress. I am not in the place that I imagined I would be currently. If everything went to plan, I would have a job right now and all I have to do is focus on uni work. I am still trying my best and aiming to graduate with a first although that seems quite distant considering my less than satisfactory marks so far in the year. I doubt that I will achieve a first but one can dream. Still getting a graduate job and being able to stay in the UK is the priority for now.

For all it's worth, my Soundcloud project is going decently. It's not amazing. I'm not pulling hundreds of plays everyday but I like what I'm doing and maybe other people will like it too. I posted the January cover about two weeks ago and it has pulled in more plays in that period than my other covers have in the same which is encouraging. Is this a sign of growth? I don't know. I won't put my bets on it surely. I just hope that one day my music will take off in some way. I'll leave the cover below for you to listen and judge.


Hopefully I'll be in a better place the next time I update this blog.

Signing off,
Jiun

Weeks 6 to 13: Busy Life and A BRAND NEW YEAR

Hello readers! (If I actually have any)

I know that it's been quite a while since I last posted and that's because of my ridiculously packed life in the past couple of months.

Term 1 of my final year at university is now done after a lot of stress. I won't bore you with the details but let's just say that it's been a rather potent cocktail of job applications and essays. But that was nearly a month ago now.

So between, the end of term and now, I've been enjoying myself quite a bit. Flew off to join my family on a tour of Portugal and Spain. It was certainly great to go on a holiday with family and certainly less stressful as I did not have to plan anything besides the flights. I really loved learning about the history of the two countries. My short-lived stay in Lisbon was particularly interesting in this aspect because of the historical relations Malaysia had with Portugal. It was interesting to notice certain Portuguese words were adapted into the Malay language (e.g. 'keju' is the word for cheese in both Malay and Portuguese).

Before term ended, I reconnected with Laura (my neighbour in first year) and she invited me over for a game night which resulted in me getting invited for New Year's Eve celebrations. So I spent New Year's Eve in Leamington Spa again this year. It was really fun just sitting around eating, drinking and playing games. Since I don't really practice any traditions for New Year's Eve (NYE with my family is quite a boring affair), I found it quite fun to join in with singing Auld Lang Syne and watching the fireworks on TV.

So, new year, new me? Not really. I stopped making New Year's resolutions a while back but I'm starting again this year mainly because I work better with clear goals in mind. In terms of job prospects, I'm definitely closer to getting a job than I was a year ago but I didn't manage to achieve my goal of actually having a job by now. I am also down to one final job application (I've been rejected or just haven't heard back from all the others). I'm left with the final stage for that, so *fingers crossed* I'll actually get the job. In the event that doesn't happen, the job hunt will just have to continue.

As for my music, I am no longer playing in a band and have been focusing a lot on making my own music. Reviving my Soundcloud page has been a wonder in helping me slowly develop the editing skills needed to make my covers sound better. I am aiming to record a proper collection of demos by this year, hopefully before I graduate university. I also want to play more solo gigs which I will hopefully find the time to do.

On the academic side, I don't think that I'm doing as well I was aiming to before. Not going to lie, I have lowered my expectations and I will honestly be happy with a 2:1 provided that I am moving along reasonably well with my other life goals.

Honestly, I still can't believe that it is 2016 already. This year is going to be a year of change for me. University life is ending and I will be stepping into the working world (Where? I still do not know.). Is this the year I become a fully-fledged adult? The prospect of that is definitely intimidating.

Going with the flow,
Jiun

Weeks 1 to 5: Final Year

I've been back at university for about 5 weeks now and it's been a bit crazy.

I've been quite enjoying the modules that I am taking this term. Probably because I actually chose those modules. The ethics module is the one which I am enjoying the most at the moment, mainly because the lecture style is so different from what I am used to. Due to the small class size, classes are a lot more interactive and I also get to read children's books as part of the module, so that's pretty great. Not sure how well I will do in the assessment because there is almost no limit to what I can do for the creative piece and essay. I have been thinking quite a lot about what I want to do for the assessment and I do have a couple of ideas, so hopefully I can get working on it soon after I talk to the tutor about it.

Job applications have also been a massive part of my life at the moment. I am currently applying for jobs in the UK, mainly audit related ones but also trying out for music industry stuff as well. At the moment, I only have one application which has gone relatively well and I am now waiting to arrange a telephone interview with the company. I also submitted application for a data analyst job in a music-streaming service which is basically my dream job but I still haven't heard back from them in the past two weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed for that but my prospects do not look very good at the moment. I'll send them a follow up email soon and hope for the best. I really did not expect job applications to be so stressful but I guess that's the price I have to pay if I want to stay in the UK.

Music has taken a slight back seat in my life for now but I am still working on some stuff. I played a short set with my friend for a festival held at my university and it was quite fun although I did mess up the lyrics quite a bit. The crowd was basically non-existent when we started playing but slowly grew to a decent size towards the end. A complete stranger did walk up to us and complimented us which was brilliant. My Soundcloud page recently hit 500 total plays which is nice. I'm having a lot of fun making these monthly covers, so hopefully I will be able to keep it up. My next one will feature a couple more instruments than I usually have in my covers. A bit of experimentation on that one. Hope that turns out alright. In the meantime, enjoy my previous cover:


Till next time!

Summer: Quick Update!

I have basically been neglecting this blog ever since I've returned to my homeland of Malaysia for the summer. Sorry for that! I have been pretty busy working on a few things this summer and I think they've been going along pretty decently so far.

First off, I've been spending the past 7 weeks interning in a pretty famous international professional services firm. Past me would have been ecstatic about this internship but in the past few years, I've grown quite a lot and I don't think that becoming an auditor is the road I want to take in life. This internship has only served to prove me right in that aspect to be perfectly honest. While the work itself can sometimes be interesting and challenging, I am finding it very hard to be motivated to work. To be fair, I have been able to see how what I'm learning in university translates to a workplace scenario. But, I just cannot see myself being the sort of person whose 9-5 job basically takes over his/her life. I honestly do not mind working everyday but not if it was for something that I do not care about. If anything, this internship has made me respect auditors even more. Doing a thankless job and living that lifestyle really can take a toll on a person.

The second thing that I've been working on is basically a job search. Ever since deciding that I didn't want to become a typical accountant or a banker early this year, I have been looking around for jobs within the music industry related to my degree. I have managed to contact an alumni of my university and have been talking about opportunities in the industry. It may not be the most promising but I believe that there is a way in somehow. I'm not as far along in this as I would like to be but it's still progress.

The third thing that I have been working on is my revived Soundcloud page (which you can check out HERE!). The current plan is to upload one cover every month which actually is not that frequent, so hopefully I'll be able to keep it up! Also, I have recently hit 300 total plays on my page! It isn't much but it's a start. Fingers crossed that this will become a mildly successful thing. Besides that, I may be involved in something new in the near future. Still just an idea at the moment but I have a good feeling about it so keep an eye out for that!

In the meantime, check out my favourite cover I've uploaded so far!


Peace out,
Jiun

Week 40: Turning 21 and Going Home

It has been a pretty emotional week. I've been spending a lot of time with my friends who will be graduating in a few weeks time. I feel really sad that I only became close to them in the past few months. I wish that I had spent more time with them but, alas, it was not meant to be. I hope that we will still meet up next year. I'm sure we will find an excuse to.

Also, I turned 21 last Saturday. I basically spent the whole day in Coventry with my friends. First we went to a buffet and ate till we couldn't move. After that, we basically scouted around Coventry for bars to drink at. There was no crazy celebration or anything but I really enjoyed the company. It was a really fun day for me.

I'm flying home tomorrow and due to certain personal developments, now I have a lot of mixed feelings about going home. I am restraining from actually telling the world the problem because of the various implications that it could cause but I honestly hope that a day will come when I can be absolutely honest about the problem I am facing right now. But for now, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.

You probably won't see why it has been an emotional week for me just by reading this post and I am sorry about that but my hands are tied for now. Maybe one day I will write a post about it. Maybe.

Signing off,

YiJiun

P.S. I've uploaded a cover onto my Soundcloud channel which I will pop on here. Enjoy!

Weeks 34 to 39: Exams, Croatia and Dressing Up

Hello readers! As is the norm this academic year, I have not been updating my blog as frequent as I'd like but here is my sort of monthly update.

Exams are finally over, although it actually did not take that long to get them over it. It was just because I had 9 exams crammed into a measly 2 weeks that it felt like an age. Not all of them went well to be honest, but that's just how it is I guess. There was one particular paper *Finance 1 cough* that was especially hard and I honestly thought that I was going to fail it but after the paper, it seemed like most people felt the same so I guess I won't fail? I mean, the university isn't going to let half the class fail a paper, right? Anyway, it's all done and over.

Practically immediately after my exams, I jetted off to Croatia with two high school friends. That was genuinely fun. It was a nice mix between hectic days and chill ones. Also, the length of the trip was just nice, as in I didn't feel sick and felt like going home at any point of the trip. The first place I visited was Pula which was a quaint little town near the seaside. It was an interesting place because historical buildings and monuments were just scattered around the place. The difference in the architecture of the different eras the place went through in the past was also pretty obvious. It was quite an experience. Didn't really do much there except go to the beach. I got a nice tan there which was a nice change from the cold English weather.

Beach and sun in Pula!!

After a day of travelling, I finally reached Dubrovnik where most of the fun happened. On my first day in Dubrovnik, I visited the old town. After walking around for a bit, me and my friends went on a Game of Thrones tour of Dubrovnik which was basically the highlight of the whole trip for me. I'm a pretty big fan of the show and the books, so the tour was perfect for me. The tour guide was really lovely and was even an extra in the show which was cool. She took us around showing us landmarks that served as shooting locations for the show. She was an even bigger fan evidently, and was pretty knowledgeable about both the shows and the books. I was basically in awe the whole time and splashed out some moolah on GoT merchandise as an early birthday present to myself. After tour, I scaled the city walls and while the view was great, it was pretty tiring and slightly torturing because of the sun beating down on me.

Pretty Dubrovnik

The lovely GoT Tour guide

The next day, I went with my friends on a kayaking excursion. Now that was an experience. It was open sea kayaking and we had to get to another island and back. Halfway, the sea decided to play up a bit and send some waves our way. I swear some of those waves were the height of my head. I nearly flipped over a few times. But I survived. And apparently I kayaked for about 10km which is an achievement in addition to me not being the last kayak in the group although I was left behind for some parts of the 'adventure',

Next stop was Split. The apartment we rented was actually inside Diocletian's Palace which is the main attraction of Split. That was a nice surprise because it made getting around and visiting landmarks so much easier. I made a point to visit most of the historical landmarks in the old town and that honestly did not take as long as I thought because all of them were clustered around the same spot (also the palace was not as big as it seemed on the map). It was a pretty chill 2-day stay there and I went back to England after that.

Just staying in an ancient palace, no biggie.

Now that I was back in England, I had another busy week surprisingly. I performed with Glee for an open day and also as part of the student arts festival but the highlight was Societies Awards where I got to dress up and act fancy for a night. It was probably the first time I wore a full suit ever since I came to the UK. Also, because I didn't have a bow tie and wanted to wear one to the awards, I learnt to make one out of a neck tie. Now, that's an achievement. Glee was not nominated for any awards but it was a fun night just hanging out with my peeps (the DJ was quite bad though). Also, it was held in the beautiful Stratford which was a plus.

I still have about a week or so to go before I go home to Malaysia (can't wait!!!!). I aim to record a few covers and sort out some career stuff in this short period of time, so hopefully that will go well. Also, I'll be celebrating my first overseas birthday! It will probably something small with some close friend who are still around university then. It will also be my 21st birthday and, people who know me knows that actually prefer having an intimate celebration, so that works out well for me.

Bye for now and I promise to post one last update before I fly back to Malaysia!

Weeks 25 to 33: Update

I really haven't been updating this blog very much lately. I would blame it on exam stress but fact is, I haven't been updating it even over Easter break. Anyway, here is a quick update of my life in the past two months.

1. Finally settled my internship for the summer break. I will be interning at PwC for about two months when I finally go back to Malaysia for the summer. Not exactly the dream but a good avenue to work on my social skills and gain working experience which hopefully will come in useful when I actually start applying for graduate jobs.

2. Visited London twice over the break and it was pretty nice seeing my cousin and getting to eat decent Asian food for once. Visited Greenwich. Pleasant place.

3. One of my childhood friends dropped by Coventry on her visit to the UK. I haven't seen her in ages so it was really nice to catch up with her.

4. Music-wise, nothing much happened. Despite plans to use my newly-acquired microphone to record some music over the break, there hasn't been much progress in that department. I did record a shitty demo of a song which I have recorded many times. The idea behind the demo was good, but execution wasn't there. Will have to work on that once exams are over.

5. On a different note, Malaysian Night happened. It was interesting to see songs I wrote being performed onstage by other people. One the songs went decently well (I'll just leave this here) while the other...let's just say it could have been better. The night, on a whole, could have went better. Let's just leave it at that.

6. Module registration for 3rd year opened a week ago and it was pretty stressful trying to login to the system but I managed to register for all the modules I wanted which is more than many other people can say. I have to say, I am pretty excited to take the modules next year mainly because I chose them myself and I made sure that there was a good balance of things that I want to learn and other stuff that could help my future career prospects. So I have that to look forward to next year.

7. Exams are only a couple weeks away. Pretty nervous. Study plans have not exactly gone to plan. Take today for an example. I was supposed to be in the library finishing up revision for a module but here I am writing this blog post. Hopefully I'll be able to at least get a bit of revision done later.

So that's about it. I have plans to revamp my Soundcloud page and start uploading covers more frequently. So look out for that. Youtube will come later. I will need to seriously up my game if I want to make it happen.

Bye for now! Hopefully my next post won't be too long away.

Signing off,

YiJiun

P.S. My love life has gone in an interesting direction. ;)

Weeks 19-24: Battered and Tired But Still Moving On

It's been some time, huh?

A lot has happened since the last time I updated this blog. Short update jobs-wise: everything has been a train wreck but I'm still applying for internships. Hopefully, I'll get one.

Academically, I think I'm doing alright. To be honest, the group project didn't really go as well as I hoped it would but it was still pretty much smooth sailing, so I don't have much to complain about.

I took part in Battle Of The Bands again this year. It didn't go as well as it did last year but really, last year is pretty hard to live up in terms of band-side success. I was working with a way smaller band and had to deal with considerable lack of guitar skills in the band and also the lack of drums. I had hoped to do better but it wasn't meant to be. The praise for the songwriting was a nice consolation though considering that I wrote two songs of the three-song set.

Next up, Masters of Show Choir! I have to say, it was an amazing experience to have taken part in this. The run up to the competition was pretty intense but still fun. It was so different to dikir last year. Everybody was just having fun and had a common goal. On the day of the competition itself, the team had so much fun that winning just wasn't a priority anymore. It was such a high that this past week just felt so bland.

Speaking of the past week, I went to karaoke night at the uni pub and it was actually pretty fun. I ended up onstage singing an alcohol-fuelled version of Shakira's Hips Don't Lie.

Now, I'm back to boring studying. I have a test and a presentation on the same day next week. Both are assessed which is a bit of a bummer. Hopefully both of them will turn out alright.

Before I end this post, can I take a minute just to say, "How good is Kelly Clarkson's new album?" Honestly, it's not that great but still it's a solid album. Also, I'm such a huge fan that I don't really care.

Signing off,
YiJiun

Week 12 to 18: Update

So I haven't exactly been updating this weekly....well, now I'm back!

First, I decided to count in the weeks that I spent in Malaysia for the Christmas break just so there's some sort of continuity and to avoid confusion when (if) I look back at this in future.

Next, the break which I took back in Malaysia was actually more eventful than I thought it would be. Of course, there was the hustle and bustle of moving all my stuff to the new house which wasn't even 100% ready when we moved in but it looked nice. My new room is now massive and I have tons of storage space which I don't need at the moment. It's nice that I don't have to share a room with my brother anymore (no more early mornings because of getting woken up by his alarm!).

Besides that, I visited the Johor Premium Outlets and Legoland with my siblings and my brother's friend (also my sister's lecturer). I actually enjoyed Legoland more than I thought I would. I was expecting it to be this boring kiddie park but there were some fun rides and shows. Also, they had the Star Wars exhibition when we visited, so that was pretty cool. The only downside to the trip was that the place we stayed at was a bit crappy. I wouldn't recommend staying at that hostel really. But, all in all, a pretty enjoyable trip.

Besides having fun, I also worked on job applications. But I wasn't very successful though. I crashed and burned at both phone interviews. The second one was slightly better than the first but still not very good. One thing I did realise though, I pressured myself so much to try to succeed but I didn't really want the jobs. The only thing that attracted me to those jobs were the fact that I would be able to stay in London and possibly get a job for when I graduate. Now, I'm focusing a bit more on applications in Malaysia and jobs in record labels or music companies.

Lately, besides trying to catch up on my work and balancing that with society stuff, I have also been thinking a lot on my future after I graduate. Do I want to work in Malaysia? Do I want to work in the UK? Do I want to work in a bank/audit firm? Do I want to work in a record company? It's so pressuring having the expectations of my parents not match my own. I completely understand why though, but still, I find it hard to make a decision which will give me a steady income in life.

In the end, I will be doing the job and I really should get something which I am at least vaguely interested in. Working in a bank is completely out. Not only am I not interested in finance, I didn't even like it when I did my internship in a bank. To be honest, I'm not even sure what auditors do but I have this prejudice against it and clearly just don't want to become an accountant. Would I like working in a record company? I don't know either, but I want to at least try.

Job seeking is hard. And I'm only looking for an internship. How nice would it be if I didn't have to worry about this while still in university? Sigh.

Signing off,
YiJiun

Weeks 10 to 11.5: Overdue

Finally getting around to update the blog.

Week 10 was pretty uneventful in all honesty. I spent most of my time sleeping and procrastinating. I only properly started studying for my Finance test on Saturday. It was a welcome change after the previous week.

Week 11 was just full of studying for the test and wrapping stuff up for the end of term. Thursday was the most eventful day of the week. I had my test and the end of term social for Glee which was pretty nice. Also, finally revisited Kasbah on Friday to celebrate the end of term. Except for the extra coat room upstairs, it was plain ole Kasbah with its sticky floors and throngs of students.

The night before I left for Malaysia, I cooked dinner for my housemates. No particular reason, to be honest but I just felt like it. They liked the meal good enough, thankfully. Then, the next day, I left for home. I slept for a surprisingly decent amount of time on both flights considering how little sleep I usually manage to get on flights. But, I was still exhausted by the time I got home. The type of sleep I get on flights isn't really the rejuvenating kind.

Anyway, now I'm back home and rushing internship applications and preparing for my one interview. Hopefully it will all go well. Happy to be home, even if only for 3 weeks (also helps that the weather isn't out to freeze me to death).